Below you will find some common conflicts between God's will and human wisdom. The topics are listed in alphabetical order in teal. Under each topic is an example of a common ideology that falls under that topic. Following the ideology are a few possible comments you can make when you want to say something but are also concerned about being sensitive and preserving the friendship. These are not the only response but examples of ways to keep the conversation going while encouraging the person to clarify what they are saying, think more deeply about the subject, and open up an avenue for you to gently offer your concern or alternative viewpoint. 

The responses below are best used with the questions posed in our resource Conversations, which can be found following the link below.

A scripture reference at the end of each section informs us of God's will regarding the particular ideology.

Next to "Possible Response," you will sometime notice a star or set of stars. You will find the resource we referenced for the possible response at the end of this page.

Possible Response:**

• I'm confused. I've had many times my emotions have fed me lies. Wouldn't this reasoning insinuate no one could encourage a depressed person they have value? 

I would not ignore the impact perception can have on a person. But neither would I claim that perception can change the outside world's reality.

Genesis 1:27; Psalm 139:13-17; 1 John 3:2 

Possible response: 

• While it is true that God does not make mistakes, it is still a fallen world filled with sin and vice due to the disobedience of humanity. We still have many ideas and desires that go against his will. But it is also because God makes no mistakes that we can know none of us were born in the wrong body. 

James 1:13-15; 2 Chronicles 19:7

Possible Response: 

• It is true that we as Christians are commanded to not judge hypocritically and to remember we are all flawed. However, that does not mean we must turn a blind eye to those who are going down the wrong path. If you see someone you care about making decisions that are harmful to them, wouldn’t you want to help them make better choices?  

Is it judging to tell someone engaging in self-harm this is not an appropriate response to whatever they are feeling?  

• We can come alongside people with care and compassion to help guide them on the right path. We must remember not to be judgmental in our approach to helping them. 



Matthew 7:1-5; Matthew 28:19-20

Possible Response:

• Thomas Sowell says, “When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.” Telling people what they want to hear is selfish since your concern is keeping yourself from receiving the blowback from their disagreement.

• According to God, love rejoices in the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6).

Possible Response:  

• Would you consider the conversation loving if the discussion was over the potential of the individual being harmed or their actions being illegal?    

• While I agree that minor decisions don’t typically affect those around you, our choices can often be more consequential than we realize. Asking someone to affirm another person’s identity is making a request about how people use language, which can often lead to the use of improper terminology. Furthermore, we aren’t just atomized individuals; we’re members of communities and society. By making society at large accept people’s self-identities, it leads to a slippery slope of the elimination of certain groups’ private spaces. 



Matthew 28:19-20; Habbakkuk1:13

Possible response:  

• I believe almost everyone cares about these issues one way or another. If the idea of self-identity isn’t a big deal, could you explain to me why it’s so important to make everyone else go along with it?  

• I care about these issues because I care for the well-being of those around me. Do you think it is good to care for the well-being of others? 

I want people to make good choices so they can live happier and healthier lives. I also don’t want to see harmful ideologies pushed onto other people. These ideas can be especially harmful to kids because they’re easily impressionable and frequently change their minds about what they want.  

Matthew 28:19-20; Habbakkuk1:13; Psalm 1

Possible Response:*

• Would you say it is loving to agree with an anorexic when they say they are fat and need to take action to become skinnier?

Instead, I would encourage them to see the value in who they are. Why not encourage someone struggling with gender dysphoria to value who they already are?

Do you have a question that goes deeper than what we have here? Get in touch with us by filling out the form below.

• *Questions and Answers were derived from Frank Turek's podcast I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Athiest (Cross Examined).
• **Frank Turek, Questions To Ask My LGBTQ Friends, I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Athiest Podcast, (Cross Examined), Feb 2020, https://crossexamined.org/questions-to-ask-my-lgbtq-friends/