1. Many times, we respond to untrue thinking. The T.R.U.T.H. journal helps us to see the truth.
2. The T.R.U.T.H. Journal is best used consistently for at least five days out of a week for at least three weeks.
3. You find time to reflect on the previous twenty-four hours, not in the heat of the moment but at a designated journaling time.
4. In T.R.U.T.H., the "U" is first. The reflection order will be U, T, R, T, H.
5. You will start to notice patterns in your responses. Processing this information will help you prepare, so you don't respond the same way in the future. This will take some time, so be patient with yourself.

Was there a particular experience where you displayed unhealthy behavior or upset emotions?

1. You feel sad because you think others don't value your opinion. After all, they did not incorporate your idea in the final product.
2. You become angry when your youth did not notice that the dishes needed to be done.

What was it that triggered my emotion or behavior?

1. After I spoke, they never referenced what I said or brought it back up again.
2. Seeing the dirty dishes in the sink and my child doing their own thing in their room.

What was I thinking when I experienced the trigger?

Things to Reflect Upon:

• Bad Theology: Am I responding to a situation in the wrong way because I'm not correct in my understanding of God's Word, or am I only looking at a piece of what the Bible says about a subject?
• Irrational Beliefs: Am I responding to a situation in the wrong way because I'm not taking everything into account? My motivational perception has me only seeing what I expect to see, need to see, desire to see, or match my emotional state at the time.
• Unrealistic Expectations: Sometimes, it helps to attach your need/want to your feelings (“I feel disappointed when Sue brought up a counterpoint because I want everyone to agree with what I say.” When we say it out loud, we can notice the unrealistic expectation.) What concrete action would you or others have to take to reach the state you're looking for? (Again, this can reveal our unrealistic expectations when we have to put them into words.)  

It is important for us to understand that it is not the triggers that cause the unhealthy response; it is our thoughts about the triggers. Triggers may provoke us, but they are never the cause of our feelings or behaviors. This section will take you the most time as you have to dig a little deeper.

1. I thought my idea was great, and we should have implemented it. The others should have agreed.
2. I was thinking my youth ignored the dirty dishes in the sink. It took me two seconds to notice that they needed to be cleaned. They knew I would do them because I'm tired of having to nag them all the time to help take care of our home.

If I had not been operating from this bad theology, irrational belief, or unrealistic expectation, what would be the proper way to view the situation?

1. The Bible reveals that we are not perfect. Everything I think or do is not always correct or the best. So, it is irrational for me to believe everyone must agree with and implement my ideas.
2. It is unrealistic for me to expect my youth to notice things regarding the upkeep of the home. However, helping them develop this skill is part of my job as their parent. But even then, their minds are on the important things to them. I'm concerned about the dishes because they are important to me.

If I have the same trigger again, knowing what I know now, what should a healthy response look like?

1. I realize it is okay for people to have different opinions. I have to be humble and realize I need to trust others in the group who might know a better way of doing things than I do.
2. Instead of making myself mad by assuming they refused to do the dishes, I should gently remind them to complete the task. I forget things, and my child will also.